Funny Quotes
Posted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 2:25 am1-Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
2-I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
3-If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
4-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles.
5-If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
6-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
7-The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
8-The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
9-Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
2-I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers
3-If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button
4-After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles.
5-If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way.
6-Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings
7-The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. - Mark Twain
8-The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
9-Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.
